Off on a South American Adventure...

If you saw me on the lead up to this trip and were one of the many people who asked me if I was excited, you may have noticed some hesitation. The truth is, while I have been looking forward to this trip for months, as it drew closer and closer, my anxiety grew. With the exception of a cruise last year I have not been overseas since I was sixteen and went to East Timor so the idea of traveling to a completely new place, a total of sixteen hours away by plane, was very much out of my comfort zone and something that I was starting to wonder what had possessed me to sign up and pay a lot for.

Maybe you were one of the people who asked what I was looking forward to the most, or what I was hoping to get out of the trip... If you were, you'll know that my answer to both was that I have no idea. After experiencing world youth day in Sydney back in 2008, I wanted to do it all over again. I don't remember half of it now, but what I do remember is the feeling of positivity and hope I felt. I had never before felt so at home in my own city and had so much fun walking around the streets of Sydney meeting other people like me from all around the world. It was that feeling that made me want to go to the next one but I missed out and so decided no matter where the next one was I would go.

So here I am, officially on pilgrimage for World Youth Day in Rio 2013.

After frantically packing on Friday night and managing to squeeze in about two hours sleep, I arrived at the airport feeling rather tired on Saturday morning. After we did the family goodbyes and went through customs I chucked in some gum and hoped and prayed my anxiety wouldn't kick in. We boarded the plane about an hour later, and to

my surprise I was fine all through take off and on the flight. Four hours in I was pretty ready to get off though and sadly didn't sleep a wink for the rest of the time. After 13 hours we landed in Santiago Chile where we spent the next four hours waiting to board our four hour flight to Lima. By the time we got to Lima it was 5pm local time and I still hadn't slept, but was so excited to see a wonderful Peruvian family who were waiting to greet me holding up a welcome sign and a flower. At this point I had had a total of two hours sleep in the past 30 hours and should have been on the floor but was so excited by the welcome that I was re-energised.

We then all piled onto a bus with a lovely guide and headed towards our accommodation, a retreat house in the San Isidro district of Lima.

On the way we were told a bit about Lima and Peru in general and I was surprised most by the fact that even in Winter Peru gets no rain, just a very light drizzle and no more than 1mm of rainfall each year! Sadly in Winter though due to the clouds getting stuck between the mountains and covering the whole sky they don't see the sun or sky. The sky during the day is a grey, and by night is an orange colour.

The streets heading from the airport to our accommodation were lovely. There was greenery and flowers in most the medium strips and bike paths everywhere. The streets themselves were also incredibly clean even though some of the buildings on either side of them looked decrepit. I noticed also that all the houses/apartments had strong coloured paint, and had flat roofs. I later found out that because there is no rain, there is no need for a slope for the rain to run off, and for the same reason the paint doesn't get ruined by prolonged water exposure.

I also found the street art/graffiti really interesting... While there were some basic tags, there was some really beautiful paintings and in some cases mosaics representing significant events.

After arriving at our accommodation and having some dinner a few of us decided to go for a walk to explore the local area. We had an 11pm curfew before they wouldn't let us back in the gates after that so we didn't go out for long, but we walked a few blocks in circles until we eventually found a shop, got a drink and some snacks and walked home again. Along the way we must have walked past about twenty security guards in front of houses and apartment blocks, and even some sitting in little phone box shaped boxes on the street corners. I had never seen so much security anywhere other than when the president or pope goes somewhere so it was interesting to learn that the reason for the security was a result of the terrorism that had happened in the past and that everyone in the middle and upper class neighbourhoods all chipped in money to hire a security guard for their area.
After an exhausting Saturday, which ended up being about a 39 hour day once we'd crossed time zones, I tried my luck with having a hot shower, but sadly I lucked out and chose the one with the worst water pressure, so I rushed through and jumped in bed.

Though it was a long day of traveling, and sore legs and back for me, it was so surreal looking out over the balcony before I went to bed and realising that I was on the other side of the world, and though I have no idea what will come from this trip, except of course what it written in the itinerary. I was finally ready to answer the question, yes, I am excited!!

Bring it on!

You know those little girl fantasies you never knew you had until suddenly you're given the opportunity? This was one that surprised even me!
I was on the star now website when I saw the following ad:

It was at that moment that I had flashbacks to watching all the bring it on movies and had a sudden desire to be a cheerleader, despite the fact that I had absolutely zero dance experience. To be completely honest though, I have sat in NRL games often and watched the cheerleaders and thought "that's not that hard, I could do that..." Well if this experience has taught me anything (and it's taught me a lot) it was that I was very wrong!

So I applied to the listing and started corresponding with the coach. By this point I was wanting to back out something chronic! I had a series of emails and messages back and forth with the coach where I basically tried to convince her in any way (without actually saying the words) to not take me on so that I could legitimately get out of what I was sure was going to be too hard, and perhaps too out of my comfort zone and not have to say I quit. I had every reason under the sun... I had never danced before, maybe she would prefer girls from the local area,  there were a few games I couldn't make due to prior commitments etc. Alas though the big guy upstairs was watching over me and had other ideas. There's a quote somewhere that says God won't give us more than we can handle, and though it is not scriptural or necessarily true,  clearly this was something I was going to have to stick with. So I went to SUPRÉ and bought the skirt and shirt I needed by the first training (much to my horror at the tightness of the short red skirt) and psyched myself up for my first training.

I left two hours and fifteen minutes to get to training, and it was lucky I did because I got incredibly lost at the University of Wollongong, which as a side note is really nice, and made it just in time for the practice.
When I arrived I met a few of the girls, and when the coach arrived she sat everyone down for a talk. It was the commitment talk... She ran through the expectations of the team, for training and for games and gave everyone the option to leave then if they didn't feel they could make the commitment.
I'll admit, at that moment I was so scared of what was to come... I didn't know if I'd make it through the first training session let alone the whole season, but I'd driven a long way to be there and decided as scared as I was, I wasn't going to leave.

The first training session was very difficult... I'd missed the first training session the week before, so not only was I a week behind in choreography, I was 20 years behind in dance ability compared to some of the girls on the team. It gave me some comfort knowing that I wasn't the only one who hadn't danced before, but by the end of the training, I was not confident that I'd ever be able to do it. Knowing how uncoordinated I am, but not wanting to look like a total and complete failure, I told the coach and captain that I just needed to practice and I'd be fine by the next training, but every part of me knew that was a lie. The only thing I liked about the training was that I knew the song... Taylor Swift's Trouble, minus all the goat inserts!

I drove home that night feeling worse about myself than I had remembered feeling in a long time. I don't like failing at anything, and for some reason went into this venture feeling like it was something that might be hard and a lot of effort but that I'd be able to do it. When I got home I debriefed with my bestie, telling her it was hard but i'd be fine. Then she asked me to show her what I learnt. I showed her the one little bit of floor work that I remembered and then it got too much. I showed her the video I had taken and she (a dancer of 22 years) said even she thought it was hard for a beginner. You can imagine my further distress then, as I started a rant about how I was terrible and a failure and all those things (it was late at night by that time) so as the awesome friend she is, she offered to learn the dance herself and teach it to me. So for the next week she went over bit by bit with me in the backyard, not letting me go to bed until I could do one section perfectly three times in a row without a mistake. At 11:30 on the night before the second training I was rolling around the ground in the backyard repeating the choreography over and over, as the dew was setting in, yelling at my housemate  that I wanted to go to bed. Knowing how disappointed I would be if I went to bed without nailing it she persisted and didn't give up until I eventually got it.

The next night I went to the training pretty confident that I knew the dance inside out. We started going through it and I instantly knew the choreography had changed in a few parts from the week before and had a quick one of those "I don't like change" freak outs before accepting that I had to adapt and learn it.
I left after that practice feeling slightly better. I got on well with all the girls so that was an added bonus as well, and talking to some of them made me realise I wasn't the only one who felt a little uncoordinated. It was now two days till game day.

Saturday morning I woke up and was ready to go, I had gotten my hair straightened the day before so I could avoid the 2 hour ordeal that is doing my hair, and had my uniform all nicely laid out on my bed. After practicing several more times in the backyard I jumped in the car and was on my way.
 
When I arrived the nerves set in... A soccer field had never seemed so big to me, and the grand stand, though not too grand seemed to tower over me. I found the girls and we started practicing over and over again. After sweating it out for a bit we got ready, and into our skirts which I felt a little like a squashed sausage in.

The anxious face mirrors exactly how I was feeling

It came to 5pm and we went out onto the field for our first performance for the under 20's game. The grandstand looked half empty and I was more than okay with that. As I walked out onto the field I suddenly realised that I didn't need to be worried... No matter how bad I was or how embarrassed, I was in Wollongong and nobody there knew me. The music started and off we went! Before I knew it we were throwing our Pom Poms to the ground and the song was over. I knew I had been slightly off for a few bits but I didn't care. I was so pumped to have done it and It had been so long since I was in a performance that I had forgotten how much I loved it. 

Between the games we had to sell raffle tickets to raise money for the club... Well not me... I was one of the ones who had to stay inside and keep going over the dance... :-S but a few of the girls did, and I was surprised to hear when they returned about all the negative comments people in the crowd had given them. People had made remarks about the length of their skirts, and made comments about their promiscuity, life choices and just gave them generally dirty looks.

I was so shocked by this. These people didn't know these girls, or anything about them and made horrible assumptions. Usually I'm the ultra sensitive kind of person who would take offence to people judging me or making rude comments, but in this case I just laughed. I felt like going up to them and actually telling them about my life and why I had chosen to join this team and then seeing what they had to say.

We performed the second time at the 7pm A Grade main game to a crowd double the size, and I think this time I managed to get every move. At the end of the dance and after we had done the guard of honour, I was surprised when the captain/choreographer commented on how well I did and how well I had listened and fixed what I did wrong compared to the first time. This was the exact confidence booster I needed.

Watch the masterpiece below... You'll find me second from the left (in the middle row) once the group breaks out of the line just before the first chorus. 

So every Thursday night, and every second or third Saturday since, I have driven to Wollongong to be a cheerleader. The drives themselves (though scary when wet) have been a great chance for me to "practice" my singing, (something else I want to improve at) and give me a "quiet" down time where I can think and ponder life.

Since the first dance I have performed routines to Oye Baby by Pitbull and Set it Off by Timomatic.
The most recent was this one which I managed to get filmed. We only had one training session for this one which I missed because I was held up in Sydney, so I learnt it all in a day. Because of that I made 2 really noticeable mistakes (missed a kick, came in late) but otherwise it has been my favourite so far AND we got a standing ovation! :-) (though we think that could have been because one of the girls skirt got caught up partway through the dance.)

I was quietly impressed with myself this day at how far I had come, from the girl who was stressing in the backyard about the first dance to a girl who could pick up and perform a dance (almost right) in a day.

Watch Below or Via YouTube.
Pom Poms - Jonas brothers

I'm the one back right.

Here are the last two dances of the season:

Oye Baby - Pitbull

Va Va Voom - Nicki Minaj

The things that have occurred to me and I have learnt through this endeavor are varied, and this task has challenged me in more ways than any of my ten week project ventures to date. Even though I risk sounding fluffy or insincere... Here are my top 5 realisations:

1. Cheer leading doesn't have to be like Bring It On.
While some weeks we did some cool lifts and spins, and some cartwheels and handstands, there was no rival squad, no fight over a sacred baton or no girls trying to rip each others face off. We are a group of girls ranging from seventeen to thirty who all just want to learn and perform and have fun!

2. It is never ever too late to learn a new skill.
While I won't be touring with the Sydney Ballet, or dancing on Broadway anytime soon, I have been able to learn and I think get better at a skill I have never had and always wanted to be able to do.

3. I can be my own worst enemy when it comes to self talk and motivation.
I spent the whole first few weeks hating on myself for not being able to do something I had never done before. When I got over myself and went with it, I got there.

4. Always go with your gut.
When I saw the ad something inside me sparked and I wanted to join. The location and the time commitment had to be figured out later, and even though I tried to talk myself, and the coach out of it after applying, my gut instinct had brought me there so I stayed there and learnt so much along the way.

5. I love performing.
I may not have been very good, and the audience may not have been thousands, but the buzz of being on a "stage" was something I hadn't done (Except for acting in the Easter passion play) since I played a munchkin and flying monkey in my high school production of the Wiz.
It's something I am keen to keep pursuing, and although the Wollongong thing could get complicated and I may not continue next season, I do want to take drama classes, and maybe even join a musical or theatre society.
 

 
 

Cheerleading - 10/10

WE EXIST //

Every so often, as you'll learn more in my cheer leading blog to come, I peruse the Star Now website, usually with no success.

For those players who don't know what it is, it's a site for actors, models, dancers, extras, musicians, make up artists and film crew to either find jobs or to find people to do jobs for them. It's free to view and free to post listings, but to apply for jobs you need to have a paid membership. It's kind of like having an agent, only way cheaper!

I've been a member of Star now for over five years. I found out about it when we were casting for a uni film back in 2008 and decided to join, not actually having a scerrick of acting or modeling experience other than playing a fairy in a midsummer nights dream and a munchkin in the Wiz musical back in high school.

Some would call me a fame whore... Many years ago I expressed an interest to one of my friends in being famous, and she has never let me forget it. It's not that I want to be famous, I don't actually desire to make any money out of it, or sign autographs or any of that jazz, so what I wasn't able to articulate then to her was that I have always been fascinated in all areas of film and television. I love editing and love my job and helping on shoots, but I also love being part of shoots. To a lot of people this doesn't make sense... Why would someone want to spend hours and hours unpaid waiting to walk behind some people talking a few times? I explain it to them but still get the looks of bewilderment. In the time I've been a member I've been fortunate to be cast a few times, in a feature film, in a TV pilot, in a short doco, and now in this shoot I'm about to tell you about.

I originally saw the casting and thought this is cool, they want real people not super skinny plastic surgery ridden real models, so I applied.

Honestly I didn't really read too much into the subject matter, or give it a second look, just sent an email expressing my interest. I was surprised when I got an email back because 99.9% of the time I apply for things I get no response, or the courteous "thanks for your application, but we don't need you."

You may be confused about why I'm blogging about this... Applying for things is not exactly out of my comfort zone... And you're right, it's not, but what has taken me out of my comfort zone is the subject matter.

I care about social justice issues when they are immediately in front of me, but I won't lie, I avoid reading and watching news about serious issues because they don't directly affect me,  and if I worried about all the horrors in the world I'd never sleep. I don't think this makes me a bad person or uncaring, but it does make me a tad ignorant.

The subject matter is human trafficking, something I know very little about, only that I thought it was something bad that happens in other countries. Imagine my surprise to learn that this is actually something that occurs here in the “lucky” country.

I told my housemates I was joining the project and one of them actually laughed out loud, proclaiming "that doesn't exist in Australia!"

This is called the We Exist Project and is a collection of photos as well as a documentary about raising awareness that these people do exist and are closer to you than you may think.

It is headed up by a girl names Carli Carey and is being released in July to highlight the circumstances faced by 27 million people worldwide who are trafficked for sex and labour. It is supposed to be a confronting collection and has some phenomenal photographers and make up artists who have all volunteered their time and are making this project truly amazing.

I went along to the launch night for this project at a pub in Balmain and had the opportunity to meet Carli, her husband and all the amazing models, make up artists, wardrobe assistants, camera people, photographers and models. We mingled for a while, and then Carli stood up and gave a talk about the project, how it was a small idea she had that gained an overwhelming amount of support and has grown to be a huge project in the name of freedom, justice and awareness.

I'd go into more detail about the project itself, but I won't do it justice.

Head to this website, or follow the project on Twitter or on Facebook and see some of the incredible photos that have already been.

While this is an opportunity for me to get photographed, it's an opportunity for awareness! It has opened my eyes, and if I can do my little bit to share it just by writing this blog I will.

Website

http://weexistproject.com/

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/WeExistProject?fref=ts

Twitter

https://twitter.com/WeExist_Project

As is the nature of a volunteer project, sometimes things fall through on the day, and so the shoot I was on my way to had to be rescheduled due to no makeup artist being available, but as soon as it is done I will upload images. And if it does fall through, which I hope it doesn't  I have already been able to be a part of something that does have the potential to have a global reach, and from where I’m standing or sitting, that’s pretty damn cool!!

In the meantime… here are a few of the images so far.

WE EXIST // - 10/10

Midday Yoga

I would like to be a really physically active person, but sometimes I find it really hard to get motivated. I don't like gyms, and even though I set an alarm to wake up at 6 every morning to exercise... Every morning I hit the snooze button 8 times and go back to sleep.

I hate to admit it, but money is a good motivator for me to exercise. If I have paid for something in advance I will be there because I don't want to waste what I've paid for. It has kept me going for the past two years in pole classes, and so this week I paid for a 10 week yoga course, to motivate me to leave my desk at least once a week, and at the same time improve my flexibility.

So at 11:50 on Wednesday I headed to the yoga room in the third building. Apparently nobody arrives early for yoga, as when I got there I was alone and it was a good five minutes before the teacher even got there.

I grabbed a mat from the corner and instantly knew that was a bad decision, but there was no going back. It smelled as though the sweat of fifty different people had all come together for a party on the mat, got drunk and then seeped into the fibre a of the mat where they will stay for eternity. In short, it smelt disgusting. Downward dogs, though the easiest position and the transition position became my worst nightmare for the duration of the class as I inhaled the sweat of yoga-sters gone by.

The class started and I immediately remembered why I have a strong dislike for stretching. I'm sweet with the end result, more flexibility and freedom of movement... But I don't like being in a prolonged position of pain, and that's how I've always seen stretching.

I overlooked that for this class though. I convinced myself that no matter how much I hated it, I would love it.

My legs started shaking more and more as I went on, to the point where I was doing the "less hard" versions of all the stretches by the end. This didn't do much for my self confidence but knew if I had thought it would be easy I wouldn't have tried it in the first place.

Looking around I could tell who we're the seasoned pros and who were newbies like me. I secretly felt a bit better seeing one of the other girls struggling just a tiny bit more than me, and thanked god I knew some basic yoga poses from my pole classes.

The thing that let me down the most in the class though was my breathing. And by let me down I mean I didn't do it at all. I'm usually pretty good at multitasking, but trying to have relaxing constant breaths while balancing on one leg leaning forward with your arms in the air, isn't really my forte! I was all too aware that I was struggling to breathe when the instructor came over and reminded me to breathe. As kind as it was, it didn't really help.

When it got to the part at the end when you get to just lie back and breathe I was in my element. Doing nothing was way easier, and the more the instructor softly told us to breathe in and out, the more relaxed I got, to the point where if she hadn't said: "sit up slowly now" I would have actually fallen asleep. I wished the whole class could have been like that, though I'm not sure I'd like to pay just to have a nap at work.

As much as I struggled with it I am glad I am trying it. I haven't noticed a huge change in my flexibility yet, but it's only four weeks in, and we haven't been doing a lot in the areas I need to stretch, but I'm sure that will come. Before any of that happens though I need to learn how the hell to breathe!

I'm pumped though, and because I like the idea of Yoga but think it could be more interesting I have booked into an acro yoga class this Sunday. Can't wait to have to attempt to balance while also holding someone else up in the air! Should be fun!

If you really want an interesting read about yoga you should check out Muthu's blog.

http://yoyoyogaa.blogspot.com.au/ 

Oh and if you are keen to try it for yourself... Take your own mat!

Artist's interpretation of me inhaling sweat fumes

Yoga 7/10

Motivation

This project has so far been both enlightening and challenging... There have been times I have wanted to give up, and decide it's all too much, but I stumbled across this on twitter late one night (I'm still there and slightly less inept at using it) and maybe it was the late hour, but it struck a chord with me and has given me motivation to persevere with the not so easy tasks. It's never too late to attempt to do something new, and even if I stumble... a lot... I can keep going, especially with my current "dance" project! Thanks C.S.Lewis! 

Stay tuned for more updates. Sorry I've taken so long!

Time to join the circus?

When I stand at the top of a tall building or cliff I get a little uneasy. I tell myself – and others that I’m not scared of heights; I’m just scared of falling and dying.

When I was younger I was fortunate enough to have a Wonderpass, and spent every second weekend at Australia’s Wonderland. I like to think I’m a thrill seeker, the truth be told there are certain rides that I wouldn't go near. Despite fearing for my life every time, I would always line up and go on the space probe, instantly regretting my decision each time it began rising above the shed it was enclosed in. I would get on the rickety wooden Bush Beastie and scream for my life as I bounced up and down in the carriage, holding on to the metal bar for dear life. I tried to be hardcore, I got in the seat for both The Demon, and The Pirate Ship – Bounty’s revenge, and before the ride even started screamed until they let me off. There was no way I was about to hang upside down.

The Demon and Bounty's Revenge, Wonderland Sydney

 My biggest weakness though has always been Ferris Wheels. I remember being about seven years old and going on a lovely day trip to Manly with my best friend at the time. We begged my mum to let us go on the Ferris wheel, and she obliged and we got our own carriage and the ride started. It had not moved more than a metre from its starting position, to let the next people on, when I started screaming hysterically, demanding the guy let me off. He couldn't make it go backwards, so I had to wait for it to do a full revolution before I got out and my friend went around by herself for the next few turns. When we were at Wonderland those years later and my family insisted we ride the Sky Rider Ferris wheel together I wasn't a happy camper. Much to the delight of my younger brother and sister the carriages could be spun around from the inside for added “fun” and boy did they take advantage of that as I sat on the floor of the carriage in foetal position crying. I think my family had my best interests at heart and were just trying to help me face my fears... these days putting a child through that much mental anguish would probably be classed as child abuse!

The Zodiac - Wonderland Sydney

Sometimes I surpise myself though. When I was about 12 my family went on a recreation camp in Berri. They had as part of their site what they said was Australia’s biggest flying fox. It was pretty frightening, and the walk up there was enough to turn anyone off, but I did It and was ready to take on the world. The next day we had the choice of doing either a high ropes or a low ropes course. The high ropes was about 30 metres above the ground, so i decided against that and went for the low ropes, merely 3 metres off the ground. As soon as I climbed up the ladder I screamed and made them let me back down. As much as they insisted I was completely safe and that the caribiner would hold me, I wasn’t about to put all my trust in a tiny bit of aluminium.

Berry Flying Fox

So this week I decided it was time to at least attempt to conquer my fear of heights... not simply by getting in a Ferris wheel or riding a roller coaster – though they did make my short list – no, I decided the best way to conquer my fear was to try my hand at flying trapeze. Conveniently you don’t have to join the circus to be able to do this, and so with my brother, my sister and her boyfriend and two of our neighbours we went to Circus arts at Homebush.

I had spent the Saturday on an all day Hens ferry pub crawl so when I got up the next morning I decided against eating. It was St Patrick’s day so I chucked on my shamrocks shirt (hoping it’d also give me a little more luck on the trapeze.)

As we arrived and walked up to the opening where the flying trapeze was set up and looked up to the platform on top of a skinny ladder I realised it was not going to be easy.

As the instructor squeezed me into the super tight harness I started getting nervous. We went over to a low hanging bar and practiced hanging on it upside down. Some of the girls did it easily, but I needed a little help. The instructor assured us it was way easier when we were in the air so I didn't worry.

Harder than it looks!

We learnt all the procedures and then the instructors showed us up above. There was another girl there by herself so she went first, but because I didn't want to lose my nerve I decided to go second.
I watched as she climbed up the ladder with ease, jumped off, flipped her legs up and over and then fell gracefully down into the net. I was so busy watching that I hadn't climbed up ready, so I started climbing the ladder as fast as I could, knowing that if I stopped I was likely to freeze, cry and need to come back now. (consequently that was exactly what my neighbour did when it was her turn.)

I reached the top and had to step over onto the little platform suspended in the air. Even though I was held up by ropes and would probably not go crashing to my death I held on to the bars for dear life. This is where it got interesting. As if I wasn't already nervous enough, the instructor at the top was new and couldn't actually reach the bar to bring it to me, so she kept reaching for it for what felt like ten minutes as the instructors on the ground told her what to do. My self confidence was not growing when a second one had to climb up onto the platform to help her.

Holding on for dear life waiting for the instructor to actually reach the bar

Eventually she got it and I grabbed on to the bar and, as instructed, jumped my feet together and went flying out. I had barely gotten my head around the fact that I was actually successfully flying through the air holding on to this thick bar, with my arms being pulled out of their sockets when the girl holding the rope down the bottom told me to swing my legs up and over.
It was not easier than it was on the ground, and though I tried four times to do it, I eventually lost momentum and had to just drop into the net.

Bombs away - trapeze take 1

After the first go we got taught a new skill. After we hung upside down by our knees we had to come back down and the flick forward and backwards and then backwards flip off and into the net.
I was fast losing confidence... every other person who had attempted the first move could do it successfully, but I went in with the attitude that “this would be the one.” I climbed up again, and was shaking even more than the first two attempts. I wasn't sure if it was the lack of food, or the risk of my impending death that increased each time I climbed the ladder. The more climbs, the more chance of injury right? I swung off and sadly had the same issue getting up, so the lady asked me instead to just try the back flip. Unfortunately my attempt was more of a back flop than a flip

Take two - plus first attempt at back flip

Unfortunately failing was the case for the third attempt too where the only modification to the skill was you had to let go with your knees, since I couldn't even get there I didn't have to worry. I managed to get the backflip this time at least. I was congratulated, but I couldn't help feel like I was being a little patronised.

Take 3

After everyone had done that one we were introduced to the last and most complicated skill. You had to go down, flip upside down and then catch the hands of one of the instructors who was on a second trapeze coming towards you, then you had to let go with your knees and swing from his hands and finally drop into the net.
It was laughable that they had the guy swinging at the right time when I still couldn't get my legs up, but I climbed up again, shaking even more this time, and went for take four. I once again missed getting my knees up and over and so just did the back flip off - successfully this time. As I got down I was congratulated for being able to do the flip. It felt more than a little patronising... I knew as well as everyone else there that I was doing terribly.

Take 4

At that point I had climbed the ladder four times and decided there was no point me continuing, as I didn't want to fail again, and I wasn't going to be able to succeed. I sat down and watched as my neighbour, then my sister, then my brother all did it perfectly and were caught my the guy. Everyone had had their last go when one of the instructors came up to me and strongly encouraged me to try one last time saying “how good would it feel if you did get it this time?”  I said “How bad would I feel if I failed again,” but knew if I didn't try I would never know if I could have made it that last time.

So I climbed up for the last time, and using every possible muscle in my body I tried so hard three times to get my legs up. I managed to get one leg to touch but couldn't get them over... alas I had failed again so I back flipped off and went back and took my harness off.

Take 5 - Finale attempt

I had given it the last try and I had failed again. It felt pretty rubbish... I don’t like to fail at things I try, especially when I've gone outside my comfort zone and my younger brother and sister could both do it better than me. Granted my sister and my neighbour had both been trained gymnasts in their younger years, but somehow that didn't console me.

The next day I was in a world of pain. Every muscle in my stomach and arms hurt which I thought was ridiculous given the fact I couldn't actually do it properly! It did however give me the consolation that despite failing I had tried really hard. I’m still scared of heights and I won’t be going back to do it anytime soon, not because I wouldn't love to get better, but the height anxiety over and over again wasn’t pleasant. Looks like i’m not joining the circus anytime soon, but I think I can live with that!

Flying Trapeze 7/10

Failing at conformity

I'm a big fan of Facebook. I check it every morning, every evening, every lunch break, every spare minute I have... Even though there is usually nothing exciting happening I do like the knowledge that something could happen at any time and I would know about it. That, and it's fun to laugh/cringe at the terrible grammar and spelling used by my Facebook friends.

I like to think I was a Facebook Australia pioneer, and I'll tell you why.

The year was 2006 and I had just finished high school and been accepted into Uni, when my best friend (who was a few years older) moved to France for a year to study as part of her degree.

I attended one primary school for seven years, followed by one high school for six, so I was very comfortable with the highly structured school environment and I wasn't necessarily ready for the daunting prospect of a Uni degree.

Without my best friend easily contactable on the phone and Skype not being even mildly as reliable as it is today, I had no. Choice but to use email.

We would email back and forth and her experiences sounded incredible. The only thing that was missing was pictures. I desperately wanted to see what she was doing, but she told me the only way I could was to sign up to this site that all the Uni students in Europe were using. That site was of course Facebook. This was problematic however because although I had enrolled in my degree, I didn't yet have a Uni email address and as such could not access it. As soon as I started Uni about a month later I signed up and could finally see the pictures of her hanging out in a French dormitory. Admittedly, not that exciting, but I'd been waiting so long that I felt part of some elite club that nobody knew about.

And I kind of was. It was about 6 months until I had my second Facebook friend, and then almost immediately it escalated and I found myself studying it in my lectures and debating it in my tutorials.

While I've moaned and groaned about every layout change with everybody else, I have (in the end) embraced them and looked forward to new and exciting things. So it stands to reason that as a self proclaimed Facebook junkie I would be a fan of other social networking platforms right?

I had an MSN Space back in high school, as well as an original MySpace, a Bebo account, a Flickr profile, a Pinterest account, a linked in, a StarNow profile, a new MySpace, and every other thing you could think of. One thing I didn't have was a Twitter account.

As an impulsive subscriber, and registration junkie, you'd have thought I would have jumped on Twitter years ago. I thought about it many times, every time deciding I didn't need another social media platform to get addicted to.
I was so sure that if I started a Twitter account I would never get off and it would be detrimental to my general productivity as a person.

A few nights ago I made a rash decision at 12:30am that I needed a Twitter account. I could pretend that I had some really important reason to be in the loop, after all the papal election was trending world wide and everyone was waiting to see who the new guy would be. But I could get that info from Facebook, Google, or the old fashioned source, the news...
No, at 12:30 in the morning I decided it was vital that I join Twitter - I'm embarrassed to say - because I wanted to follow the account of the actor who plays Home and Away's newest River boy. Why? Because I'm a little bit in love with him. :-S

So join Twitter I did, and four days later I still have no idea how it works, why people use it, and why people go crazy with hash tags. To me it looks like a scrambled unformatted mess of words and colour on the screen. The biggest Internet sensation since Facebook is lost on me. I've tried tweeting about the football; I've tried tweeting about charity and St Patrick's Day; I tried tweeting about Aussie Pickers; and yes, I've also tried tweeting about my new favourite Home and Away actor @NicWestaway.

I just don't get it. It's still a mess of words and symbols to me, where people mostly retweet uninteresting things other people wrote for a whole bunch of other people to see.

In my effort to conform to what all the "cool kids" are doing I've failed miserably. It takes me back to one of those tutorials in first year Uni where I sat in the middle of a classroom with 10 students screaming: "CONFORM" over and over, while one girl whispered: "It's cool to be different." Today, I'm listening to that girl.

Who knows, maybe something will change and I'll become entranced into the world of Twitter, and the magic of crafting a beautiful comment in 140 characters or less. Maybe I'm just not following the right people.

Watch this space.

Twitter: 2/10

UPDATE 18/3:

My inability to use Twitter is obviously worse than I thought...
My account was suspended due to "Aggressive following" which can be described as:Aggressive following is defined as indiscriminately following hundreds of accounts just to garner attention. However, following a few users if their accounts seem interesting is normal and is not considered aggressive. 

I'm confused... my understanding was that the point of Twitter was to follow people??? Apparently the universe thinks Twitter and me are a bad idea too!