A bit of drama to spice up my life

We all have lists... And I don't mean shopping lists or packing lists or present lists, (because let's face it, they're not all that exciting) I mean real life lists, things we want to do, things we want to tick off before we die. For some these come as a sort of mid life crisis, the "oh sh*t I've wasted so much time and don't feel like I've accomplished anything and shall now buy a sports car" kind of list. For others it is as simple as a bunch of classic movies they want to tick off.

I'm just twenty five, and hopefully nowhere near having a mid life crisis, but as long as I've known I've had these lists... Never written down, but things that have remained there in the back of my mind waiting to be reignited. The biggest example of such an item is the "get married and have kids" objective. This one is dateless... Sure there is a biological clock that will stop ticking at some point (or so every magazine ever says) but this item is otherwise out of my control. On the other side of the list is a desire to watch The Lord of the Rings and Indiana Jones movies (don't judge) which is fully within my control.

While both of these items have been on my "list" for quite a long time, the movie one in particular isn't something that I think will bring me great fulfillment. Sure I will have added trivia night knowledge, but it isn't going to change me (I don't think) and isn't anywhere near challenging enough for me.

If you've read any of my previous blogs, you'll quickly learn I like to try new things. In fact, in ten weeks (give or take a month or two) I tried ten new things for a creative project for work. Yes this technically fell under work (have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE my job?) but it was so much more than that, and ignited a new passion on me to keep trying the things on my list. I began to feel less dread toward the fear of failure and the judgement from others, especially my peers. I've spent a lot of my life being a people pleaser, not reluctantly, but one day I realised that my worst fear was not in fact public speaking, (like 85% of humans) my worst fear was being judged by people I knew.

This surprises a lot of people I know... In fact, today as I danced and sung around the cafe to the countdown on music max as we waited for coffee, I said something along those lines and it was hard for those there to believe me. Until this point in life I have often avoided doing things because of fear of rejection or judgement... If you wanted to read to deeper into that, it could stem from being bullied in school and past interactions with people, but wherever it comes from, it has always been there, and for the past few years at least has held me back from one particular item off Natalie's long list of awesome things she wants to do… take acting classes.

When I was about 8 years old I think I first expressed to my Mum that I was interested in doing drama classes. At that point my only performing arts experience had been a brief stint in the band playing clarinet, (very brief) and a few years in the school and state choirs. I remember coming home multiple times asking my Mum if I could take classes, but because of clashes in extra curricular activities and the costs involved it never eventuated. A few years later I started high school and as soon as I heard the school had a debating and tournament of the minds team I was at the auditions quicker than you could give me the time. I remember the auditions being so much fun and I knew these were both something I wanted to do.

This was when the first two rejections came. I didn't make it on to either team in year seven, and I was so devastated. At the age of 12 that was enough for me to not want to go back again in the next few years to audition either. I had known that not everybody would get a place, but being one of only a few who didn't get a place on either debating teams, and missing out on tournament of minds as well, this twelve year old wasn't about to face more rejection.

When it came to subject selection for year nine and ten I was conflicted. I loved art and had been building and making things since I was really young so since I only got to choose two subjects, Art and Design & Technology were the front runners. I desperately wanted to do all three, but Drama sat as my third preference, and for about two days I was on the list to do it until a space opened in the art class and I was moved. In   Two years later we were studying A Midsummer Nights Dream in English when we learnt it was to be our schools next major production. I was so excited, as I was fascinated by the whole play and wanted to be in it more than anything. A friend of mine had the same idea and so for weeks the two of us practiced a scene between Helena and Hermia before building a life size tree out of cardboard boxes to take to our audition with us. Whatever it took we were going to get into that play… And we did. I was cast as Peaseblossom and she was Mustard Seed (two of Titania’s fairies). I only spoke 8 words in the whole play, but boy did I do them enthusiastically.

Coolest Fairy Around

After loving this taste of the thespian life I was quick to audition for the school production of the musical The Wiz the following year when I was in year 11. I was not a singer so auditioned for the chorus. (I’m almost certain they let everyone in, but chose roles based on the auditions) I was cast as a munchkin and a flying monkey and even though I had to learn a whole bunch of songs, a whole bunch of dances and go to a whole bunch of rehearsals I loved every minute of it. At this stage I had still not joined drama classes because I didn’t want to be two years behind everyone else who had done it as an elective and it went on the back burner again.

In the years since then I have tried to stay involved in “the scene”, selling tickets for my friends musicals and doing the odd bit of extras work here and there as well as taking up pole classes and performing (the most nerve wracking experience of my life) at a variety night in Glebe last year. For the longest time however I have sat back and watched and wished I could take part, always too scared that people will judge me or laugh at me or that I would embarrass myself, or worst of all… fail.

Until NOW!! After participating in a sample class at the Actors Centre in Surry Hills (Where Hugh Jackman did all his original training) AND loving every minute of it, I have officially enrolled in a part time acting course for 2014. I am so unbelievably excited about this. I’m not doing it because I have dreams of Hollywood or anything like that, I am doing it because I want to follow a passion, become more confident in myself, and knowing more about the craft of acting can only be a positive influence on my job. So… It may have taken me seventeen years to get here, and I may still fail, but I don’t want to look back at my life as I’m floating up to the spirit in the sky and wonder if I could have done it.

Here’s to ticking things off the list! Bring on 2014!